A shoutout to dads in the pandemic
You're not just parents, "too." You are parents, period. In the words of one "pissed" Reddit dad, "this relentless drumbeat of moms moms moms ... puts parenting back 50 years and hurts moms and dads"
I've been thinking a lot about dads in the pandemic. Prompted by the way I see the dads around me -- family, friends, dads of my kids’ friends, etc. -- working on overdrive to parent + produce income + everything else that is needed in this pandemic marathon, just like moms are. This morning I saw this Reddit post, and it struck a chord there. Don't know if any of you, friends and readers, feel the same and would be willing to talk here about your experiences. Excerpt from what a father wrote there:
Last week it was “An American mother, on the brink”. The week before it was “America's mothers are in crisis”. Before that it was “This isn't burnout, its betrayal: how Moms can push back”.
I cannot describe how much this relentless drumbeat of moms moms moms during the pandemic pisses me off. Not because moms don't deserve attention. Of course they do. But because it puts parenting back 50 years and hurts both moms and dads.
...
To be clear (I'm sure 80% of this sub hates me already), I 100% agree with these articles: that the disproportionate burden of COVID has fallen on mothers. Hell, I see that everyday in my own house. But disproportionate does not mean total. Unless you're a complete misogynist or man-child, dads are picking up anywhere from maybe 20-50% of the additional parenting burden (sometimes more for SAHDs); and the same proportion of the life exploding COVID disaster.
Yet to our employers and the media, you'd think it was 1952: they imagine that for men, parenting seems to account for precisely 0% of our lives. We are largely expected to carry on as if nothing is wrong.
This is such crap. Fathers across the nation are having to step up alongside their partners, but are getting little to no recognition or understanding from employers or society. This is hurting women, as well as men.
And the whole post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/ly0rj3/pandemic_dad_is_pissed/
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Until next time,
Roxana